ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Our Latest Post
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If Trump Wins, I’m Going to Have to Move to Canada to Be Closer to My Long-Distance Girlfriend, Lisa
“It seems like every time I look at my phone, I see headlines about Trump’s many court cases, his ugly campaign promises of violence, and texts from my very real long-distance girlfriend pressuring me into moving in with her.” -
The Handmaid’s Tale or Harrison Butker’s Commencement Speech?
“Men set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction, and chaos set in.” -
Hi, Architectural Digest,
Welcome to My Home
(That I Don’t Live In)“I will give you a tour of a giant estate that I own but have never visited until today. Watch me pretend that I had any input on the decor while my interior designer stands behind the camera and tells me what to say.” -
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
An Open Letter to Whoever Keeps Making My Wife Laugh on Slack
“The last time I checked, it was called ‘work from home,’ not ‘make my wife laugh from home.’ That is unless your job is to make my wife laugh—in which case, whatever they’re paying you, it’s not enough.” -
Final Exam for the Class “What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently” Taught
by Howard Dean1. Which of these public utterances would immediately end a candidate’s presidential ambitions?
A. “I want to be a dictator.”
B. “If [she] weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
C. “YEEEAAAAAWW!!!”
Trending
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May 10, 2024What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today
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May 9, 2024Deciphering Your Daughter’s “MOM” Texts
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April 26, 2024The Millennial CAPTCHA
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May 2, 2024University President’s Response to Student Dissent Mad Libs
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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May 13, 2024A Regular Day in California, as Envisioned by Right-Wing Republicans
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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May 17, 2024Excerpts from The Believer:: Take the W: Entry Points
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May 15, 2024“Ruining Your Credit So No One Wants to Steal Your Identity”: An Excerpt from Evan Waite’s New Book, Life Wants You Dead
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May 13, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Why Did Two Grandmasters Apologize to Each Other?
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May 10, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Mallory Pike’s Mom
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May 9, 2024Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Thank You for Your Toxic Positivity
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May 8, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Would’ve Embraced the Word “Poor”
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May 7, 2024“In Which Eeyore Goes to Therapy”: An Excerpt from Jennie Egerdie’s New Book, Oh, Bother
Over in the Store
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“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
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“This book is a magic trick. The kind of magic trick where you want to know how to do it so you can also write a book this good.”
—Caldecott Medal winner Jon Klassen -
Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
—Isaac Fitzgerald, The Today Show (author's pick) -
“No book I have read in years has moved me so deeply; no book has felt so full of life.”
—Garth Greenwell
Recent Posts
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May 15, 2024I Am a Gen Z Employee Who Job Hops Every Two Hours
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May 14, 2024Things I Would Never Know If I Didn’t Have a Seven-Year-Old
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May 14, 2024I’m the Word “Utilize” and I’m Loving Every Moment of Your Overblown Rhetoric
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May 13, 2024A Regular Day in California, as Envisioned by Right-Wing Republicans
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May 13, 2024The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”
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